This morning, I woke up feeling ugly. Past feelings of me feeling inadequate came splashing into my consiousness. I got up, did some chores, got ready for work and then ran to the market. As I walked around the market I thought, “really Jen?! Why are you feeling ugly? When you’re feeling so healthy?” So then, I took stock of who I am today and compared a rather long list to who I use to be. And I thought “shoot girl, you got it going on!” lol
That little tweak shifted my perception of myself (which raised my vibration) and the day ahead of me. As I was loading my car with groceries, I felt like someone was staring at me. I put in the last bag and then noticed a rather yummy man staring at me. I’m REALLY shy, so I tried not to look back. But my curiosity won! lol I started to giggle and then he started to giggle. And I said, “can I help you?” And he started to laugh with a more hearty laugh and said, “you caught me! I was checking you out! You’re so beautiful!” LOL I totally got the giggles, thanked him and then drove off as quickly as possilbe. lol
I then got on the highway and was beaming with the joy that you receive when someone you find attractive, also finds you attractive. But then bam! Traffic! I found myself squished in between two large trucks, a car ahead of me and a car riding my bumper. I found myself beginning to ride the car’s bumper ahead of me. I felt rude and I felt scared and angry and rushed and unsafe.
And then I took a deep breath and I surrendered. I thought, “raise your vibration and get yourself out of this mess!” So I did! I focused on the deliciousness of being found attractive. That’s all it took! Bam! The truck on my left slowed down and let me in front of him and I sped up to got away from the craziness of that possibly dangerous situation.
I share all of this with you to share with you (again, sorry. lol But I LOVE noticing and speaking about the wonderfulness of our vibration!) so that you can begin to notice that you have innate power!! You also, have the wonderful blessing of choice!! You get to co-create EVERYTHING that is happening to you, and I do mean EVERYTHING!! Yes, it takes diligence and a deep wanting to shift, heal, expand and create whatever it is that you believe will bring you lasting joy…
The photo that I’ve attached is of me, holding a dragonfly. I was having a meltdown. lol My son was trying to take photos of me for my website and the wind kept picking up. I was struggling with perfectionism. When I finally said, “ah f*ck it! Just snap away my love. Whatever photos you take will be fine.” I closed my eyes and began to meditate. I felt the wind, the warm sun and became increasingly aware of the presence and connection of God/the Universe. And I exhaled thinking, ” I surrender”… And when I opened my eyes, there was a dragonfly sitting on me! I picked it up very gently and thanked it for helping me to feel so deeply loved by all that there is…
Moments… They are fleeting. So you get to choose what to hold onto and what to release… I don’t recall the fearful feelings I had boxed in on the highway this morning. I only remember the exhilaration of connecting for a moment with a beautiful man, I remember the wind on the day this photo was taken, I remember deep gratitude for my son taking photos of me for my very own website and I remember the dragonfly. Choose wisely and you will find peace…<3